Time got away and there was more I wanted to say...
I may be developing ADD or ADHD or something like that. This of course in addition to my rumored dementia. I'm in the market for another pistol. I researched online what I wanted, had it decided, then went to the gun store. Suddenly everything I researched flew out of my head. I was just there drooling all over the case like a waterhead. I stayed there an hour and left without a gun. I can't read like I used to because I get bored. I sit home and comb through Netflix and can never decide. So I'm going back to the gun store Thursday. Will I remember what gun to buy? Do I need Adderall? What was I talking about?
I'm no model, but don't consider myself ugly. You've heard me say that I think I look better the more facial hair I have. It hides the ugly nicely. But I'm on the radio. It could last forever or until the Alzheimer's that Nine says I have eventually kicks in. In TV it's much, much more difficult. Especially for broads. In the TV market if you have made it simply on your looks you're gonna have it rough when you hit your 40's. Sure you can get botox and tucks here and there but everyone knows. And that's too bad. Unless you didn't make based on your looks alone. Next thing you know, "you" 10 years ago walks in. A vacation here and there, she fills in and next thing you know, sayonara. Then you gotta join us uglies on the radio where looks really don't matter.
Head hair by Matt Harris,posted Apr 19 2012 3:19PM
I love my beard. In fact I didn't start putting conditioner on my head hair until I was told to use it on my beard. "Head hair"...you laughed.
Katie is in love with my beard-she likes to pull on it when she gets excited! But America hasn't always been in love with the beard. Beards became a political issue for a time in the early 1940's. For several decades before that they had been almost unknown. Joseph Palmer "expressed himself" by wearing a long beard. It was no big deal wherever he went, until one day. He injured some representative of the established order who attempted to hold him down and cut the beard off. Palmer was thrown into jail. If he had been a martyr to some great religious faith instead of to the sanctity of his beard, he might now be celebrated rather than forgotten.
I'm no longer a virgin. A paintball virgin, that is. On Friday's show I took my first on air paintballs shots. I got shot twice, once in the gut, the other on the side of my neck. I don't know anything about the gun, but it hurt like hell. My nerves were shot. JLN and I were blindfolded playing "Rock, Paper, Paintball." Imagine playing Rock, Paper, Scissors blindfolded and knowing if you lose you're gonna get shot. But you don't know what your opponent threw. Again my nerves were shot. JLN took a shot to the knee and it didn't bust. Was it frozen? The ball was nowhere to be found. On the final throw JLN lost and he got shot at least thwice by some other gunmen. He was pissed and I would have been too. He gets crapped on every day on the show and he got taken advantage of again. That's between him, Nine, and FatBoy. I believe he and Nine have buried their hatchet so we shall see. And we shall. Here's the video of my virgin performance. My nerves were shot.
I got my start doing "The Wrestling Matt Show" on WCCP 104.9. I loved wrestling. I still do, sometimes. This past WrestleMania got my excited again and the Monday Night Raw following did so even more. Former UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar returned to WWE and F5'd John Cena. It was 11:15 PM and I was sitting straight up in bed. Goosebumps, yeah I had 'em. I knew there were rumors but I figured he was still contractually obligated to the UFC. When he came out I marked out hard. That's why wrestling doesn't have the same appeal to me that it had in 1999. When WCW was in a ratings war with WWE it was hot. Wrestlers were wrestling for one company one Monday night and on another one the following week. Those days are gone. Yeah I realize there's TNA but it's not near the level that WWE has reached. Who's the only guy that could show up on WWE now that would make me pop? I guess Sting, but that's likely not to ever happen.
A few months ago when Jarrett Carter walked into the studio to start his internship I didn't think it was gonna work very well and looking back now I really don't know why. As I got to know Intern Booger I really liked the kid. So what he used to dress like a wanna be and had hair like Kenny G. Nevertheless, the other day when he beat JLN in the Lap Dance Experiment you could tell it meant a lot to him. Not that he got the Web Nazi all hot and heavy...but that he beat Jeff, he won something. I'm not sure Jarrett has won a lot in life but I see it changing. Booger is hungry. And Booger gon' get fed soon. What? I meant that figuratively as in a job/career type deal.
I'm getting married soon so on Friday, Katie and I went to register. Which is kinda weird because we scanned stuff for the house and all that crap. Weird because I have been divorced for quite some time and have managed. Same with Katie. Yet we are getting married again and apparently deserve an upgrade to our kitchen utensils and bath towels. I was serious the other day when I said I wanted a hot tub and what cooler present from all our family and friends? Fat Boy could even do the installation having been a spa service man for some time. But then again I always give cash for wedding gifts which is really the best idea. See what I did there?
I touched on this on the show but I wanted to give my explanation further. Last week I took Grace to one of our awesome parks here in the Upstate. Not a lot of people there but she quickly made friends with this little girl. She was a couple years younger than Grace, maybe 7 years old. After about an hour and a half it was time to go. As I called for Grace I noticed the mom of her new friend make her way over to the bench I was sitting on. She said her little girl loved playing with Grace and doesn't have any kids in her subdivision to play with - would I like to arrange a playdate for the girls. I agreed at the time and she handed me a card with her phone number on it. As we drove away even my kid agreed it was weird that a stranger wanted to meet up again after just 90 minutes of playing at a park. I agreed. She's smart. Like daddy.
I mentioned this to Nine and he says the mom was just hitting on me. I didn't notice a wedding ring but I never really looked for one either. She was maybe a 7/10. Maybe a 6. John Stamos would probably give her a 3. Now, while all that certainly strokes my ego I really don't think it was an attempt to blank me. Her kid probably really has no friends. Women love arranging playdates. I know it. But Grace and I aren't ready for a second date. It's too soon. As my daughter, wise beyond her years said, "Daddy they're like hey let's get married, and we're like hey...but me a drink first."
I was watching an episode of Pawn Stars on the DVR. They were hiring a new employee for the night shift. They interviewed all kinds of characters, your typical dummies, an old man who looked just like The Old Man, more dummies, and this hot chick with big hoo-ha's and tattoos. As we got to the end of the episode the DVR cut off the end of the episode. I was pissed! The 28 minutes I devoted to this show was wasted, there was no ending. Why did I give a crap who this pawn shop in Vegas hired? Because I like Rick Harrison, Chumlee is the man, The Old Man reminds me of my grandpa, and well Big Hoss I don't really care yay or no. But because I like them I care for whatever reason who they hired.
When we got to the conclusion of the latest For The Love Of Jimmy I was mad and I gave Nine the business on the show. I gave a dozen or so emails blasting me for giving Jimmy hell. Look we gave that bit 2 weeks of radio time. A lot of you really got into it with the process of narrowing down the ladies, Ashton and how awesome she was, Misty and how sweet of a girl she was, it was just a really good piece of radio I think. But then the DVR stopped. Nine never went out with Misty who he chose. He never went out with her. She drove to the station twice to be on the show from Cowpens and there has still been no date. Now I know they both had sicknesses the weekend after but she says he stopped texting her back. He says he did and she didn't respond and he's not interested in chasing anybody. Honestly I don't know what happened. But that morning the DVR on TRG stopped and I'm still kinda pissed.
This morning I started talking about something and time creeped up on us and I didn't get to say a lot that I wanted to. I was in Easley on Tuesday at a gas station. A C-Store for you yanks. I was in line to pay for my Diet Pepsi and the lady in front of me bought her kid a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge energy drink. You know the real tall ones, all girthy looking like a call of malt liquor.
Yeah, so this kid was 7 or 8 years old. Even the clerk who only have two teeth and cornrows looked at the woman like "Fo real?" She was fo real, she bought that little kid this huge energy drink. I was shocked. Then I starting to think well I'm a father so would I feel the same way if I didn't have a kid and yeah I would. My kid doesn't need any more energy and if you have kids I bet they don't either. As I was talking about this on the show I remembered as a kid this same age buying Jolt! Cola. It was advertised as having double the caffiene and double the sugar. That was the mid 80's, I wanna think we've gotten smarter as a society/ Maybe not though, look at JLN.
I truly believe you should have to be at least 16 (I said 18 this morning but if you can legally drive a car I guess you can have one). Look I'm all about saving our civil liberties but some people are just stupid, dumb buttholes and you gotta help 'em out. Otherwise I bet you there would be a lot of little kids buying smokes.
This morning I started talking about something and time creeped up on us and I didn't get to say a lot that I wanted to. I was in Easley on Tuesday at a gas station. A C-Store for you yanks. I was in line to pay for my Diet Pepsi and the lady in front of me bought her kid a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge energy drink. You know the real tall ones, all girthy looking like a call of malt liquor. 
